If I were a boy...

...maybe I'd like it much better that way. But probably I'd be just as unhappy.
There are so many things I want to express but I am so scared. I don't want to start arguing with people online, it makes me feel so horrible because no matter how much my beliefs matter to me, they will just call me "crazy"and "evil". And that actually hurts. Sometimes I really do worry I might be crazy and unable to be cured. Maybe everyone else is crazy. Who knows. I just know I feel bad for existing and having opinions. The only pure thing I have for myself is music, so I just try to listen to it and calm down.
Damn, I want therapy but I sure as hell won't get any while living under this roof. Not sure if I don't have any problems at all and am completely fine or I am in extreme denial and constantly bottling all my crap up. Seriously, I have no idea.